[Meaningful Monday's] Forgiveness

To begin each week with a fresh mindset, I will write about something that I learned, paid attention to or thought about during the previous week, with the intention of being more mindful of it during the current. 

My intention for this week is to be at peace with the ‘less-than-ideal’ choices I’ve made, as they are all learning opportunities.

Underrated for certain, forgiveness is more than just saying that you’re “sorry” – it’s about acceptance, letting go and renewing the commitment to your higher, best self and its possibilities.

The first weekend of my coach training program we were given the statement: “There are no mistakes.”  For many of us, this was a difficult pill to understand and swallow. “Huh!? How can that be true? There is obviously a right & a wrong way to do something…”  Even I have difficulty grappling with this one, but here’s the Rachel explanation: Every choice we make is built upon what we’ve experienced so far. We take an action because we think that’s what we have/need/should/are able to do. ‘Mistake’ is a judgment about the action, perceived as “bad” when the outcome wasn’t intended or left us feeling less than. Remove the judgment and you’re simply left with an action, its cause & its effect. Take it a step further and you understand that this process of cause & effect is really how we learn about ourselves and what areas we’d like to improve upon.

I can beat myself up for just about anything. Mood, weight, finances, dirty dishes, what I said to someone, what I didn’t do “perfectly” – the list goes on and on. But you know what? It’s exhausting and such a waste of time and energy to dwell in my perceived lack.  And when I release the need to control, I’m releasing the expectation of the outcome and it feels more like I’m actually living, rather than just reacting to what’s going on for me.

Self-forgiveness is the first step in the shift towards growth. You’ve got to be at peace with all the choices you’ve made up until this point because they are part of who you are. Each moment, you get to consciously chose who you want to be and hopefully, a bit wiser.